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Keeping it classy with a straw.

Sparks, or hipster joy juice as we like to call it, holds a very special place in hipster culture. It’s cheap, it will get you drunk and for a few good years had caffeine. Those not in the know may wonder why anyone would willingly drink fruity flavored malt liquor, fortunately for those people we know what’s up and have prepared a helpful fact sheet.

What is Sparks?

Sparks is a once caffeinated malt liquor that comes in a 16oz orange can. Its sugary taste is reminiscent of Red Bull, but with the added taste of chemicals, bad decisions and sweat.

That sounds kind of gross, why would hipsters drink it?
When Sparks first came on the market in 2002 it contained caffeine and those weird herbal supplements you’ll find in most energy drinks. The combination of caffeine and alcohol was perfect for fueling a night of dancing, creating art, doing other hipster things. You could get inebriated AND stay awake for a few bucks. It’s definitely cheaper than nose candy and has the added benefit of being legal (and less addicting). Alas, they stopped putting caffeine in Sparks in December of 2008 so now it’s just sugary malt liquor.

Wait, there’s no more caffeine in it?
A bunch of killjoy State Attorney Generals decided that combining alcohol with an energy drink was a bad idea.

But if there’s no longer caffeine in it, why drink it?
Force of habit dude. Besides, hipsters are always hoping to happen upon a case of old caffeinated Sparks.

Why not just drink Red Bull and vodka?
Did you not see the first presentation, hipsters are neither ‘trendy’ nor ‘guido’ and they’re certainly not ravers. Hipsters love Red Bull, just as its own entity.

What about jäger bombs?
Gross, die.