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This is a public service announcement for our hipster friends: please dress appropriately for the weather. We know that you want to wear leotards and fishnets year-round, and cocaine and alcohol are great at fending off the cold. However, your body isn’t actually warm, and getting frostbite or dying of exposure isn’t any fun. So, today we’re going to go over a few articles that are necessary to the winter wardrobe of the prepared hipster. Don’t worry, once you get inside the warehouse party you can strip down again.

We know you want to dress like this all the time.

The Jacket

Winter jackets are absolutely necessary. Not only do you need to keep your torso warm, but they’re the easiest way to show off some style. In the last couple of winters, we’ve seen a lot of plaids, but there’s also the military look to keep in mind. Those are flamboyant in and of themselves, of course, and a good hipster piles flamboyant on top of flamboyant. Of course, if you’re feeling particularly poetic and introspective, you can always rock the classic pea coat look. To do that, however, you’re going to want a mustache.

Plaid goes great with horn-rimmed glasses.

The Hat

The big hat this winter is the trapper hat, the kind with fur lining and ear flaps. You can even find them in plaid. We do not recommend matching the plaid on your hat to the plaid on your jacket, however.

Snowflakes work too.

The Gloves

The best gloves are always fingerless gloves. This is not only because you can smoke cigarettes while wearing them, but you can also text, check into foursquare and take pictures of your awesome hipster winter activities.

The most useful and fashionable sort of glove.

The Sweater

The sweater should always be as ironic as possible. Think of your great-uncle at Christmas circa 1980.

We have updated streetwear versions now.

Okay kids, now that you’ve bundled up you can head out to play in the snow.

NB: A keffiyeh is not an acceptable fashion accessory.