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Fourth of July weekend is coming up and that means grilling. (Though any weekend/day that ends in y is really an excuse for the Edukatorz to grill). While we appreciate the convenience gas grills offer (as well as their Hank Hill seal of approval), we believe charcoal grilled food just tastes better. Charcoal grills are also easier for those of us without lawns who have to settle for stoop grilling or grilling in the park. We can take our mini Weber anywhere really. But alas, many are confused by the enigma that is charcoal grilling, allow us to clear some things up for you.

Choosing Charcoal

Charcoal is really easy to find. Grocery stores, hardware stores and even convenience stores will have charcoal in the summer.* Charcoal is a matter of preference and different situations dictate different charcoals.

There are two types of charcoal used for cooking – charcoal briquettes and natural hardwood lump charcoal. The only real difference between the two are that charcoal briquettes have extra additives and natural hardwood lump charcoal do not**.

If you’re super lazy or are going to be grilling in a park we recommend using self-starting briquettes or lighter fluid. Some people are not a fan of them since they have petroleum in them to help them light and maintain a fire. We don’t think it’s really an issue if you let the briquettes cook down enough (see below).

For those of you who want to go au natural or want the taste of a particular wood (that’s where charcoal comes from) we recommend using natural hardwood lump charcoal. Though if you’re crunched for time or in a park this is generally more of a pain in the ass.

Putting the Right Amount Charcoal in the Grill

We’d be remiss if we didn’t tell you to put enough charcoal in the grill, but don’t go overboard, you’ll just be wasting charcoal. It really depends on the size of your grill. If you have a big 26 inch grill we recommend around 80 pieces of charcoal (you don’t have to count it). From there we recommend around 60 pieces for a 22 inch grill, 40 pieces for an 18 inch grill and 25 pieces for a 14 inch grill.

Lighting Charcoal

It’s easy to light charcoal when you’re using self-starting briquettes or adding lighter fluid this process is easy. Simply take a long match or long lighter and light the self-starting briquettes at 2-4 different points in the grill. When using lighter fluid, don’t go overboard. A light covering will do, extra lighter fluid just means it’s going to take longer for it to burn off.

If you’re going natural and using hardwood lump charcoal you gotta get a chimney starter. Simply put newspaper in the bottom chamber of the starter and charcoal in the top and light the newspaper with a long match. After about 10 minutes the charcoal should be hot enough to dump in the grill.

Knowing When the Charcoal is Ready to Grill

Just because the charcoal is lit doesn’t mean it’s time to grill. Wait until the charcoal turns gray before cooking anything. This is especially important it you’re using self-starting briquettes or lighter fluid because you want all of the petroleum to cook out. At that point put the grill over the briquettes, wait a few minutes for the grill to heat up and you’re good to go.

A note on temperature. The temperature you’re grilling at clearly depends on what you’re grilling. To know how hot the grill is simply put your hand over the grill (don’t touch anything you idiot): if it’s at a low heat you should be able to hold your hand there for 6 to 7 seconds; if it’s at a medium heat you should be able to hold your hand there for 4 to 5 seconds; and if it’s hot you should be able to hold your hand there for 2-3 seconds.

*We like to stock up on charcoal near the end of summer so we can grill if we want to in the colder months.

**Lump Charcoal also gets hotter so if you want a super hot grill, this is the way to go.

It has been a sweltering summer so far and we’re not made for the heat. While some like it hot, we’re not in that category and it makes making out a bit of a problem. But we won’t stop making out just because of the weather so here are some tips for making it comfortable while you make out and dare we say hotter?

1) Air Conditioning

Air conditioning is your friend, duh. If you’re in air conditioning you have no excuse to NOT be making out with someone.

2) Ice Cubes

Ice cubes cool you down naturally, but they can also heat you up. Take a few and help cool off your make out partner by strategically pressing them to his/her body. You can also play “pass the ice cube” while you’re making out; it’s very fun.

3) Pools

Same rules as public beaches apply to public pools – keep it PG. But if you have a private  pool, well then all bets are off, we recommend skinny dipping.

4) Fans

Have your significant other fan you (or I guess make out in front of a fan). It can set up some fun role playing for you and your partner (Cleopatra anyone?) and you’ll stay cool.

5) Hydrate

Staying hydrated is important in the heat and when making out. Keep some water around (even if you have ice cubes) and drink when thirsty. Not only will it prevent dehydration, but it’ll be a good way to get the salt from your sweats off of your lips.

6) Shower Time

We’ve been known to take a cold shower when we’ve been without air conditioning, it can be quite refreshing. Try making out with your partner in the shower on a hot day, it’ll cool you off while being incredibly hot at the same time.

What is this World Cup nonsense everyone’s freaking out about?

The World Cup, a quadrennial soccer tournament, is currently taking place in South Africa. While the vast majority of Americans don’t really care, the rest of the world cares to a somewhat disturbing degree. Also, an increasing number of Americans are starting to care about this event, so it’s something that’s worth being aware of.

What is soccer, anyway?

The sport of soccer is more commonly known in the rest of the world as football. This isn’t football as we know it, but rather a game that actually uses feet to move a ball around. The game started in Britain in the 18th century, and gained popularity in the rest of the world as something to take people’s minds off the fact that they were colonized by Britain.

How do you play?

A soccer game takes place on a rectangular field that has large nets at either end, called “goals.” There are two teams with eleven players and one spherical ball. Each team’s job is to get the ball into the net at the far end, while at the same time preventing the other team from getting the ball into the net at their own end. Getting the ball into the “goal” scores one “goal.” Whoever has the most at the end of ninety minutes wins.

Sounds straightforward, what’s the catch?

Only one player, the “goalkeeper,” is allowed to use his hands. This player stands in front of his team’s goal to stop the ball from getting in. The rest of the players can use their feet, heads, or whatever else to attempt to score a goal, but not their hands. This makes the game somewhat more complicated, and more entertaining for spectators.

So why the big deal about the World Cup?

Back in the beginning of the last century, it was generally decided that what with soccer becoming so globally popular, there should be a way of determining what country is best at soccer so that they can brag about it and make other countries feel bad. They tried duking it out in the Olympics, but the people who organized international soccer matches wanted their own tournament, so they started the World Cup. It has been played every four years since 1930 (except during World War 2), and people generally get very patriotic about it.

How is it organized?

The association in charge of soccer, FIFA, divides the world up into 6 regions. Countries within those regions play against each other for three years (called “qualification rounds”) until, by some enormously complicated system, FIFA decides which countries from each region are good enough to enter the tournament. 204 teams tried to qualify for the 2010 tournament, and 32 got in.

What happens once they decide who qualifies?

In the fourth year, all the teams that have qualified over the last three years go to a host country to play some more soccer. This year they are all is South Africa, and because of time zones, bars here open early so you can see them play. The tournament then proceeds in two stages: the group stage and then the knockout stage.

Why two stages?

Because the people in charge of soccer are embarrassed by how simple the game itself is and want to make everything else about it as complicated as possible. At least that’s one theory.

Okay, so what happens in the two stages?

FIFA divides up the countries’ teams into eight groups of four teams each, and everyone plays against everyone else in their group. During this stage, they’re allowed to tie, because winning this stage isn’t based on winning matches. Each team gets points based on things like number of goals they scored, the difference in goals in all matches played, drawing lots, proportion of players with mullets, and even how well the team did based on how well everyone thought they were going to do.

The end result of the group stage is a list of 16 teams that play in an actual sports tournament. In this stage, they aren’t allowed to tie, but play overtime and penalties and stuff until there’s an actual winner. They play each other until only one team remains, and they are the winner of the World Cup. Then the whole thing starts again in preparation for the next one.

So, should I care?

Yes. America hasn’t been very good at soccer in the past, but we’re starting to get better, and it’s becoming a good outlet for patriotism. For example, we tied England already this year, which actually means we won based on the insane rules for the group stage. This means that you had an excuse for running around in the middle of the day wearing an American flag, shouting “fuck yeah,” and drinking beer, which are all fun things to do.

If you’re a close reader of food blogs (like me), you’ve noticed everyone abuzz over this piece in the NY Times.  Let me summarize it for you: SALT IS THE DEVIL AND WILL KILL YOU DEAD, IMMEDIATELY.

This is, shall we say, completely and categorically false.  Is salt bad for you? In excess amounts, yes.  Can you cook without it? Yes.  Will those things be worth eating?  Probably not.  Much like acids, salt perks up the flavor of foods, and makes them taste…well, more like themselves.  Salt is important.  Books have been written about it.  Wars have been fought over it.  Some of our earliest roads were based on animal trails to…salt licks!  The word “salary” comes from the Latin root “sal” because Roman soldiers used to be paid in…you guessed it- SALT!

Salt gets a bad rep because in the glorious country of excess, we tend to use a LOT of it.  And while the amount in processed foods can reach absurd levels, I’m here to edukate you about using it in cooking.

Let’s divide salt uses into three main things: 1) salting pasta (don’t pretend like you don’t eat an assload of pasta.  It’s cheap, it’s delicious, and it plays well with others), 2) salting other things, and 3) brining.

First up – brining.  Before you get all “hey-don’t-use-those-fancy-terms-with-me,” brining is just soaking meat in a salt (and usually sugar) solution.  Salt is key here, because it performs two very important purposes.  The first has to do with diffusion.  Simply put, when you dunk a pork chop in salty water, the salt levels in the water and the pork chop want to be even.  So the salt leaves the brine and heads into the chop.  While there, it helps tenderize the meat, upping the deliciousness level.  A more detailed explanation, care of this guy, can be found here.

Onto salting pasta.  Despite what you’ve heard, pasta water should be three things: 1) salty like the sea, 2) boiling, and 3) completely and entirely free of oil.  The only way you’re going to flavor the inside of the noodle is by cooking it in salty water.  Try it- cook up 2 batches and see which tastes better.  Pasta cooked in normal water tastes flabby and gross.  Flabby and gross pasta is not Edukatorz approved.  Harold McGee, every hipster’s favorite NY Times food scientist, agrees.  Also, you’ll notice salting the pasta means you can often get away without salting the sauce with it.

And finally, salting other things.  I’m going to assume there’s not a WHOLE lot of cooking happening on this here blog, so I’m going to keep it basic.  You can see McGee’s tips on salting vegetables in the article above.  As for other things, just remember these basic rules: Salt early, salt often, and salt in small amounts.  This is where tasting your food is key.  It’s also important to remember that if you’re serving something cold, the flavors are going to be muted, so you’re going to need to make everything a little saltier in order for it to taste the way it should.

That, friends, is your introduction to salt*.  If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date in my kitchen with these.

*For those of you in the advanced class: a great primer on how to salt (and what to do if you oversalt)

Belmontmedina has a new Twitter, follow her at @belmontmedina.

Last week we told you how to find a make out partner at the beach, today we’re going to teach you how to actually make out on the beach. You’re around practically naked people and you’re already hot and bothered – the beach is practically made to make out on. But the prevalence of sand and people makes it a uniquely difficult make out spot, but it can also super hot if done properly.

Park Rules

Same make out rules apply at the beach as they do at a park. You have to be aware of your surroundings and keep it PG when on a public beach. If it’s the middle of the day you don’t want some random 8 year old to inadvertently have his/her first sex ed lesson do you? But if you’re on the beach at night you can take things a little farther, just be on the look out for cops or others.

Water is Your Friend

The best part about the beach is the water, obviously. If the water is warm enough we recommend making out in the actual water. It’s super hot and a water sport that gets the Edukatorz seal of approval. Just try to make sure you’re not grossing out anyone else around you and keep it in your swimsuit.*

Sand Is Not Your Friend

Chris Isaak makes a wet, sandy make out at the beach look hot, in reality it’s not very pleasant. You don’t want sand getting in your nether regions, do you? Try not to make out on the sand if you’re wet, the sand will stick to you and will distract you from the make out. Instead either stay in the water or stay dry on a towel on the shore during your make out.

*Only keep it in your swimsuit if you’re on a public beach. If it’s a private beach all bets are off.

Summer means bathing suit season. While we would lounge around in a bathing suit all summer if we could, we understand why wearing a swimsuit can cause anxiety in some ladies. You don’t have to have the genetics of Marissa Miller to look good in a bathing suit, you just have to find the right suit for your body.

One Piece, Tankini, Bikini

This is called a maillot. Not matronly at all.

First you have to determine whether you want to wear a one piece, tankini or bikini. It really depends on how much coverage you want. Obviously if you want a lot of coverage go with a one piece. But if you want the benefits of wearing a two piece while covering your stomach we suggest going with a tankini. And if you don’t have any body hang-ups (or minimal hang-ups) we recommend a bikini. We think bikini’s are the most fun, but then again we’d be naked all the time if it was socially acceptable.

Remember, just because you decide to wear a one piece or tankini doesn’t mean you have to look matronly. In fact we think a lot of one pieces look super hot, it just depends on how they’re cut.

The Cut of the Bottom

Le Boy Shorts

Once you’ve decided which type of swimsuit to go for, it’s important to get the right cut for the bottom. If you have wide hips we recommend you go for a high-cut or regular-cut bottom. The high-cut will lengthen your legs and give the illusion that your thighs aren’t as wide as they actually are. Many women with big thighs will go for the boy cut bottom which actually makes them look like their thighs are bigger than they actually are, it’s not a good look. If you’re skinny and want to add a little width to your body go for boy shorts, otherwise you can wear whatever you want.

A note on string bikinis. Unless you’re a stripper, Brazilian or on Spring Break in Daytona Beach circa 1995 we’re going to go ahead and say it’s a don’t…ever.

Choosing the Correct Top

Choosing the correct top is also super important. It all depends on how big your breasts are, how you want to present them and what you want to do in your swimsuit. If you’re just lounging around the beach support isn’t important, but if you’re playing beach volleyball or surfing you probably don’t want something that’s super skimpy.

Your breasts will look awesome in a halter top.

If you have large breasts and you want to keep them under control get a halter top, underwire top, or sports bikini top. The halter top will keep your breasts in place and they’ll be super hot. The underwire top and sports bikini tops are kind of like bras and give you great support except the underwire top will make your breasts look fabulous while the sports bikini top will kind of smoosh your breasts.

A bandeau top. Very retro fun.

Smaller-breasted ladies have it easy when it comes to the bikini department. We’d recommend a fun triangle top or a bandeau top. The triangle tops are the types of tops you associate most with a bikini and can be found anywhere. Bandeau tops are long rectangular tops that come in in the middle of your chest. A bandeau top can be worn strapless or with straps. Allegedly bandeau tops are supposed to minimize large breasts, but is clearly not the case whenever we’ve tried one on so we think that they are best worn by those with less endowed racks.

If you’re wearing a one piece or tankini the only real decision you have to make is if you want to go strapless, bandeau top (or bandeau strapless!), normal straps or underwire. Follow the guidelines for bikini tops above with how you want your tatas displayed.

Getting the Color Right

Color is really important when wearing a bathing suit since you’re not wearing much else. If you want to minimize your chest go for a darker color on top and a lighter color on the bottom. Just reverse that if you want to minimize your bottom verses your top. Bright colors are always fun, just make sure that they work with your skin tone. And if you’re doing patterns, stripes or anything like that just make sure that they are proportional to your body. For instance large stripes will make your hips look wider than they actually are. Try on a few suits and see what colors and patterns work best for you.

Lagers are the beer most Americans are familiar with. If you’ve had a Budweiser or Miller Lite you’ve had a lager, albeit an awful lager.

Lagers are brewed using bottom-fermenting yeast at cool temperatures. Bottom fermenting means the yeast settles at the bottom of the brew versus the top of the brew like in an ale. This type of yeast thrives in cool temperatures hence the brewing in cold temperatures.

German brewers discovered lager when they left beer to ferment in caves that were naturally cool. They realized the beer would become crisper, cleaner and drier than other beers because the yeast wouldn’t impart any extra flavor on the beer.

There are may different types of lagers: pale (including pilsners), dunkel, märzen, bock, schwarzbier, kellerbier, Vienna and baltic porters. While some lagers are light and some are dark, all types of lagers taste crisp and clean.

We enjoy lagers on hot days and when we’re too lazy to order anything else. Yuengling has always been our go-to beer in all situations*.Edukatorz approved lagers include Yuengling (obviously), Spaten, Pilsner Urquell, Shiner Bock and others. If you have a question about a lager leave it in the comments or email us and we’ll let you know if they’re quality or not.

* Fact: Just say “I want a lager” in Pennsylvania and they’ll give you a Yuengling.

There are all sorts of problems that should be keeping you up worrying all night. Some people have the happy attitude that allow them to simply ignore these problems. These are the people who call people like me “paranoid” and sometimes just plain “crazy,” but they are going to be the first to go when the meteor hits and turns the sky to night for 40 days (you know, like the dinosaurs – it’s going to happen again and should be up there on your “list of problems to worry about”).

A few months ago I wrote a post about bug-out bags and why they’re important. A reader with a proper view on serious matters like The Robot uprising and surviving flash floods emailed the Edukatorz to ask if I could expound a bit on survival and preparedness. It occurred to me that I was failing in my duty as an Edukator if I did not share my knowledge/paranoia, so I’m going to be writing periodically on this subject. Hopefully, even if you aren’t spending time worrying about things yourself, my advice will at least give you an edge on things like recognizing a zombie when you see one.

We already talked about what you should have ready in your house if you need to run quick (bug-out bag), but many Americans spend a whole lot of time in their car. Besides, if you have access to a car, it’s the first place you’re going to want to head if there is a military coup and the MP start putting cities on lockdown.

Water
A supply of fresh water is absolutely necessary. Keep a flat of water bottles in the trunk and a few in the back seat. Even if you’re just stuck in traffic and get thirsty, they’re good to have.

Seat Belt Cutter
If your car suddenly becomes self-aware and decides to leap off a cliff with you in it because it is ashamed of your years of servitude, or if you’re on a bridge that gets blown up by terrorists or something, you really don’t want to get stuck in your seat belt. Get one of these handy slicers that have a window-breaker on the other end for escape. And please, keep it within reach of the driver’s seat.

Food
Power bars, canned tuna, whatever. Just make sure you have something if you get stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Giant Maglite
These flashlights are great not only for light but also as a self-defense tool. They are an excellent means of smashing in a zombie’s head.

Matches or Lighter
In case you need to start a fire, obviously.

Flares
For when you actually want people to notice you. Also effective to scare off zombies.

There are plenty of other survival tools that are appropriate to keep in your car, but those are the most basic. Check out the bug-out bag post and see if you think any of the suggestions there are things you think would be useful in your car.

Who doesn’t love a little fun in the sun? Clearly our favorite fun activity is making out. Yes, yes there are plenty of other activities you could be engaged in at the beach (like water sports), but it’s a lot more fun if you’re making out on the beach or finding someone to make out with later. On a beautiful beach day it’s super easy to find a make out partner.

1) Look Hot

It’s very important to look hot while you’re at the beach. You’ll be dressed in a skimpy bathing suit and there’s no room to hide anything. While we’re not all perfect tens, you can still look hot even if you’ve been hitting the BBQs a little harder than you’ve been hitting the gym. It’s super cliche, but when you feel good and are full of confidence you’re going to look good. So don’t wear anything you’re not comfortable in and walk around like you own the beach. Hotties will notice.

2) Sunscreen

Wear sunscreen. Not only to protect your skin from burns and melanoma (besides, pale is in), but also to get potential make out partners to help you apply it on hard to reach areas. You’re not Stretch Armstrong so it’s completely reasonable to ask a hot stranger to apply it on your back for you. Simply ask with confidence “hey, do you mind getting my back” and you’ll have them all over you in no time. Just remember not to be awkward since awkwardness is the enemy of awesome and everyone should try to be awesome.

3) Balls

Bring a paddle ball set, volleyball or Bocce set with you to the beach (we suppose a frisbee would do too). You can ask some hottie to play with you and uh bat around some balls or you could “accidentally” hit one of the balls over by them. It’s a great conversation starter.

4) Booze

When all else fails booze will help you make out (as in every other situation). A lot of beaches don’t allow alcohol on the beach, but that shouldn’t be a deterrent for you, instead that just means a lot of other people didn’t bring booze with them. When you see a hottie you’d like to play tonsil hockey with invite them over to your umbrella for a drink. They will be grateful and you’ll have time to work your moves on them.

While getting married is a time-honored tradition of Becky and Chad, sometimes hipsters like to do it, too. If you want to get married like a hipster, there are some things you must be very careful about to ensure your wedding doesn’t get mistaken for one of those boring mainstream events.

1. The Dress

Ladies, don’t deny it: at one time or another, every girl has imagined what her ideal wedding dress would look like. Usually it’s a princessy confection that makes the bride look like the cake; this is exactly what one wants to avoid when getting married like a hipster. Instead, vintage designer is the theme of choice. If you’re lucky enough to have a friend who’s an edgy edgy fashionista, ask him or her to make the dress for you as your wedding present.

2. The Ceremony

Hipsters in church is just silly, so that’s out. For a venue, look for a park or maybe even your favorite bar. You’re going to want a non-religious ceremony, and if you have a friend who’s an aspiring actor, convince them to perform the ceremony for you. (They’ll have to apply to be a Justice of the Peace, but the World Unification Church of New Agey Free Love has openings available). Write your own vows, obviously, and collect bonus points by making them as ironic and sarcastic as possible.

3. The Dinner

Having a formal sit-down dinner with name cards and salad forks is way too traditional. Hipsters don’t need that bs! A barbeque is the superior choice (and if you need advice on grilling like a hipster, check this out). If that’s too casual for your taste, try a catered buffet from your favorite vegan or pho restaurant. For the bar, make sure you offer complimentary PBR and Sparks or you might have a hipster riot on your hands.

4. The Cake

Like the dress, you want to avoid pretty and princessy here. Cake topped with a miniature statuette of the couple is a sappy and heavily-used prop in mainstream weddings, making it the antithesis of the hipster wedding. Have you ever seen the Edukatorz-approved show “The Ace of Cakes?” Look for a craft bakery like that, and make the wedding cake unique/relevant to you and your impending spouse’s interests.

5. The Music

This is without doubt the most important part of a hipster wedding. Your first dance should be to a song by the band that was playing at the show when you met. If you’re an indie rock sort of hipster, the groom’s roommate’s band should obviously be playing. If you’re more of the electro sort of hipster, get the coolest/most pretentious local DJ you can who will call you a “very close friend” because you’ve been to his parties for years. Avoid corporate DJs at all costs! Remember, the band v DJ choice doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. All the more fun if they have beef and cause a dramatic scene!