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Last week we told you how to find a make out partner at the beach, today we’re going to teach you how to actually make out on the beach. You’re around practically naked people and you’re already hot and bothered – the beach is practically made to make out on. But the prevalence of sand and people makes it a uniquely difficult make out spot, but it can also super hot if done properly.

Park Rules

Same make out rules apply at the beach as they do at a park. You have to be aware of your surroundings and keep it PG when on a public beach. If it’s the middle of the day you don’t want some random 8 year old to inadvertently have his/her first sex ed lesson do you? But if you’re on the beach at night you can take things a little farther, just be on the look out for cops or others.

Water is Your Friend

The best part about the beach is the water, obviously. If the water is warm enough we recommend making out in the actual water. It’s super hot and a water sport that gets the Edukatorz seal of approval. Just try to make sure you’re not grossing out anyone else around you and keep it in your swimsuit.*

Sand Is Not Your Friend

Chris Isaak makes a wet, sandy make out at the beach look hot, in reality it’s not very pleasant. You don’t want sand getting in your nether regions, do you? Try not to make out on the sand if you’re wet, the sand will stick to you and will distract you from the make out. Instead either stay in the water or stay dry on a towel on the shore during your make out.

*Only keep it in your swimsuit if you’re on a public beach. If it’s a private beach all bets are off.

Who doesn’t love a little fun in the sun? Clearly our favorite fun activity is making out. Yes, yes there are plenty of other activities you could be engaged in at the beach (like water sports), but it’s a lot more fun if you’re making out on the beach or finding someone to make out with later. On a beautiful beach day it’s super easy to find a make out partner.

1) Look Hot

It’s very important to look hot while you’re at the beach. You’ll be dressed in a skimpy bathing suit and there’s no room to hide anything. While we’re not all perfect tens, you can still look hot even if you’ve been hitting the BBQs a little harder than you’ve been hitting the gym. It’s super cliche, but when you feel good and are full of confidence you’re going to look good. So don’t wear anything you’re not comfortable in and walk around like you own the beach. Hotties will notice.

2) Sunscreen

Wear sunscreen. Not only to protect your skin from burns and melanoma (besides, pale is in), but also to get potential make out partners to help you apply it on hard to reach areas. You’re not Stretch Armstrong so it’s completely reasonable to ask a hot stranger to apply it on your back for you. Simply ask with confidence “hey, do you mind getting my back” and you’ll have them all over you in no time. Just remember not to be awkward since awkwardness is the enemy of awesome and everyone should try to be awesome.

3) Balls

Bring a paddle ball set, volleyball or Bocce set with you to the beach (we suppose a frisbee would do too). You can ask some hottie to play with you and uh bat around some balls or you could “accidentally” hit one of the balls over by them. It’s a great conversation starter.

4) Booze

When all else fails booze will help you make out (as in every other situation). A lot of beaches don’t allow alcohol on the beach, but that shouldn’t be a deterrent for you, instead that just means a lot of other people didn’t bring booze with them. When you see a hottie you’d like to play tonsil hockey with invite them over to your umbrella for a drink. They will be grateful and you’ll have time to work your moves on them.

Let’s be serious: if you can’t get some at a wedding, you’re doing it wrong.

There’s something about weddings that just urges people to make out. Jealousy of the lucky soon-to-be-ravenously-screwing honeymooning couple? Biological clocks ticking? Open bar? Whatever it is, it’s a powerful force of nature akin to gravity that single persons seemingly can’t combat. We can call it the Marriage Magnetism.

That being said, there are a few pitfalls to watch out for when you’re trying to make out at a wedding as well as some practical things to think about.

First, and most important: beware incest. If either of the bridal couple is related to you, there’s a definite risk of awkward long-lost-family hookup. Make sure you know exactly how your makeout partner ended up with an invitation. If your family is particularly dysfunctional, you might want to avoid anyone from the same side of the wedding altogether, for fear of never having met your first cousin. And the possibilities there are just gross.

Once you’ve established that the object of your desire is not, in fact, related to you, there are some other things to think about at family weddings. For example, are your parents there? And would they particularly care if they found someone else in your hotel room in the morning?

So, hooking up at a family wedding can be a little trickier, but it can be done. Really, we can’t stress enough how easy it is to hook up at a wedding. Besides the Marriage Magnetism we already discussed, the circumstances are just so good. There’s probably an open bar. Part of the deal is looking like an idiot on the dance floor, so even if you can’t dance, your sense of humor will save the day (and if you need help geetting it started, check this out). Plus, either you or your potential hookup is probably staying upstairs or in a hotel nearby.

Considering all these factors contributing to the increased likelihood of making out during or after a wedding, you mainly just want to be prepared. Scope out the potential hookups during the ceremony and find out who they are. It’s not just family weddings that you need to be cautious about: that hottie at your frat brother’s wedding that seems single could be the wife of the bride’s brother who’s doing a tour in Afghanistan. You tap that, you’re probably not getting invited over to the happy newlyweds’ home for football on Sunday.

Lastly, be aware that there’s a lot of drinking going on at most weddings. Like, a LOT of drinking. You don’t want to be an accidental date rapist, and you don’t want to end up preggers because you forgot to wrap it up (see educational video below). Just because the Marriage Magnetism has you in its grip doesn’t mean that this isn’t like any other drunken hookup, and accordingly you should take the same precautions.

Vacations are always good… but they aren’t always full of making out. Sure, if you go to Cancun for Spring Break, you’re pretty much guaranteed some action. If you go on vacation with your special someone, there had better be some action! But if you take your precious vacation days to spend time with your family or a group of friends, or if you’re just on a business trip, it can seem like you’re sacrificing some good make-outs. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Travel offers some unique opportunities to make out with all sorts of people – you just have to look for your chance. Where should you be looking? Let’s go over some typical vacation scenarios that could end in making out.

1. The Hotel Bar

This one is obvious, and particularly good for business trips. If you’re stuck in a tiny town with no night life, or got in late and don’t want to leave your hotel again, head down to the lobby bar. The people you’re going to encounter here generally consist of frumpy middle-aged tourist couples, businesspeople, and that special class of drifters who have all sorts of random reasons to be drinking alone at a hotel bar. These people aren’t alone by choice (unlike the loners you see at local bars), but because they don’t know anyone in town. That is opportunity in a nutshell. Plus, you’ve already got a key for a room upstairs…

2. Poolside

Busy pools are breeding grounds for sparking make-out chemistry, especially the kind of pool that offers tequila sunrises with little umbrellas. Everyone’s already scantily clad, so nudity is on the mind. Everyone is in a laid back mood, lounging and relaxing, so a potential mate should be in an approachable mood. Plus, flirting is almost a given – strike up a conversation and play in the pool! Just don’t splash the ladies too much, they might not want to mess up their hair. If you’re with your friends, try working as a team – challenge a group of the opposite sex to a casual game of water polo.

3. Asking Directions

This one can be a long shot, but if you’re charming enough or just plain lucky, it can work out. See a local hottie? Ask for advice. Play up your need of guidance. Slip in that you don’t know what there is to do around here, o you heard the margaritas were great but don’t know where the best spot to get them is. At the worst, you might find a local gem you would have otherwise missed.

4. On the Trail

Hiking is great for making out (if you don’t mind your partner being a little unshaven). Frankly, there’s just not much to do at night except get drunk and make out. Your job is to supply plenty of alcohol – a really persuasive reason for another group of hikers to settle down at your campfire. One way meet potentials is to ensure that you’re making camp for the night at a populated campground, but then you’re making camp at a populated campground, and that’s no fun. A much better plan is to, when you encounter a potential make-out partner, fall into conversation at a scenic overlook. The scenery is ready-made conversation, and it’s easy to swing that around to “maybe I’ll see you tonight, where are you planning to make camp?”

Last week we taught you about booty call etiquette, but what about getting a booty call in the first place? While we think this is relatively straightforward we realize that not everybody out there knows how to get a no-strings-attached relationship up and running.

1) Find a friend of a friend

Booty calls are best when they are someone within your own larger social circle. Hooking up with someone in your immediate social circle is a recipe for disaster, but hooking up with someone on the fringes is ideal. Since the person is in your social circle this means someone you know knows them and you can easily obtain any information on STDs, craziness or any other background you may need to know. You’ll also have the chance to run into them occasionally when you’re out, facillitating the hook-up.

2) Mention you’re not interested in a relationship

Whenever you’re around your potential booty call mention you are not interested in a relationship. This cannot be stressed enough. You don’t want your potential booty call thinking that your NSA relationship is going to develop into a strings-attached relationship. Make sure to casually mention it whenever you’re hanging out so that they remember. Say something like “yeah, after my last relationship I realized I need to not date for awhile,” or “I’m really trying to focus on myself right now.” Yes, those are lame sentences, but they also work.

3) Never see them in daylight alone

You want a booty call, not a relationship, right? Don’t see someone during the day alone or else you’re going to give them the wrong idea. If you happen to run into them at your friend’s bbq or at the art museum, that’s fine as long as it’s not planned. You want to see them at 3 am Saturday morning, not 3 pm Saturday afternoon.

4) Flirt, flirt, flirt

This should be obvious, but if you want to hook-up with someone, make sure you flirt with them. Not only will you be able to gauge their interest in a hook-up, but you’re also signaling your intent.

5) Make your move

The ideal point of contact for the initial hook-up is after a night of partying together. Whenever you’re at the bar/club/wherever you hang out on a Saturday night together up your flirting game and focus on them for a majority of the night. If the flirting is reciprocated you can up your game with some mild making out. Then ask them if they want to leave…preferably back to your place or there’s.

6) Post first contact

In the morning after you’ve gone home together don’t pull a vanishing act in the morning, you don’t want to make it awkward next time you see the person. Mention you had a good time last night and that you’ll see them around and then leave, you don’t want to linger. This lays the foundation for future booty calls.

7) Call them one night

This is the real test of a booty call – the actual booty call. Call or text (we recommend text) and see what the potential booty call is up to and inquire if said person would like to meet up around 2 am that night. If that person is game you now have a booty call.

The dude in this video is clearly doing it wrong. YES BOOTY CALLS!

It happens: everyone gets a little lonely sometimes. We crave physical intimacy; it’s part of being human. When you’re single, however, finding the requisite intimacy can be a little tricky. That’s where the booty call comes in. The Edukatorz are all for making out, but we’re also all for safety, so please, don’t go hooking up with strangers from bars all the time (and remember to follow the Maury Povich rule!). It’s a better idea to cultivate a couple of no-strings-attached relationships that revolve more or less around satisfying one another’s urges for physical intimacy. In other words, booty calls.

Booty calls are a good outlet for any sexual frustration for a number of reasons. Presumably, you know the person (we find that these sorts of relationships often develop amongst members of larger social circles). You can therefore be confident of safety (in terms of disease) and that the other person sees the relationship the same way you do. That’s all well and good, but sometimes these arrangements can go very wrong and even turn (horror of horrors!) awkward.

To avoid awkwardness, the enemy of awesome, you have to follow a few simple rules. First off, make sure you are, in fact, on the same emotional page as your partner. If this is no-strings-attached, be honest with yourself and with your booty call about it. You don’t want to get upset if you see your partner hitting on someone else at the club, and you definitely don’t want your partner butting in when your longstanding crush is finally showing signs of warming up to you.

Another thing to clear up from the get-go is safe-sex expectations. Monogamy usually isn’t a requirement here (that often leads to aforementioned emotional awkwardness), but you might want to set a few ground rules like “use a condom with other people” and “don’t fuck prostitutes.”

You also want to tread carefully when deciding when to meet up with your booty call. If that person doesn’t feel like seeing you that night, brush it off. You’re both single partly because you don’t want that kind of responsibility toward the other, right? Don’t get offended, and definitely don’t call more than once. That’s a red flag for desperation, neediness, or demanding-ness, all of which are directly opposed to the entire principle of the booty call.

So, get out there and hit on that hot friend who just got dumped! It’ll make you both feel better, just follow the rules.

Spring time is here and that means excessive amounts of PDA. While the sunshine encourages amorous feelings you don’t want to go too overboard and start grossing people out, likewise you want to make sure you and your partner are completely comfortable while said making out goes on.

Be wary of children

You don’t want to inadvertently end up on a sex-offender registry, do you? Try not to make out too much if there are a ton of children around. You don’t want to deal with the death stares and/or pangs of jealousy from their parents. Also children are totally a mood killer and will detract from the awesome make out session.

Keep it PG (PG-13 MAX)

You’re in public and we know there’s the temptation to let your exhibitionist streak show, but you don’t want to go too far while in public. Not only do you not want to get arrested, you also don’t want to gross out everyone around you with some heavy petting or worst. Stick to first or second base while in the park and save the home run for later.

Be aware of your surroundings

Making out in a park is awesome, but not all parks are made for making out. For instance parks with playground equipment are not suitable for making out because they attract children. Neither are dog parks, parks where people are trying to play sports and any sort of organized bbq or picnic. Not only are these places box-dryers, but you’re going to make others around you uncomfortable.

Make yourself comfortable

While making others around you comfortable while you engage in some PDA is all well and good, there’s no point in making out in the first place if you’re not comfortable. Benches or blankets are ideal for making out on in the park. If you can’t find a bench and have no blanket try to find a tree you can sit down under and lean against. Barring that, make sure there are no sticks/glass/foreign objects on the grass and go at it.

Last week, we talked about the bare bones of proper behavior in a strip club. We did not, however, address the finer points of how to be a mack at the strip club. Luckily, it’s Makeout Monday and we want to talk strippers (hell, doesn’t everyone always want to talk strippers?). Added bonus: we’re also sharing this post over at teamgetyoulaid. Our friends over there are doing exactly what it sounds like, so if you want to go all the way with your favorite exotic dancer you might want to browse their archives!

To many men, taking home a stripper is a fantasy. It makes sense: she’s been there all night, right in front of you, doing all the right things to turn you on, but she’s fundamentally untouchable. That’s a recipe to drive you nuts over her. Between your desperation and her seeing this crap from men every day it’s a nearly impossible task. Luckily, The Edukatorz are here to help make your fantasy a reality.*

1. Understand: You Are the Alpha Male
First off, you gotta fix your attitude. This could not be more important. Strip clubs are full of drunken frat boys being assholes (they should really read The Edukatorz), desperate old men, and groups of guys out on the town blowing their paycheck on a good time. None of these are a good look on you. If you walk in there with confidence instead of arrogance or nervousness, you are automatically one step up from everyone else in there. Seriously, just listen to the Dog Whisperer. His advice applies pretty well to life anyway, but especially here. Where else is humanity more like a pack of dogs than the strip club?

NB: It might seem obvious, but it’s important to point out. Dressing well is going to make a good impression and a big difference in the whole process. Look to Barney Stinson, Neil Patrick Harris’s character on the Edukatorz-approved show How I Met Your Mother and suit up!

2. Become a Strip Club VIP
Choose your favorite local club. Start going there all the time. Spend your money, but you don’t need to go crazy. Throwing 20s around is going to make you like you have something to prove (see step 1). Be friendly with all the strippers, introduce yourself to everyone, joke around with the bouncer. Figure out who the owner is and compliment his club, make him laugh, and next time make him remember your name. It’s the same way you become a favored regular at any bar, really. Just make sure you follow the basic rules for behavior at the club, and you’ll be surprised how soon the bouncer is giving you the best table and the dancers are going out of the way to introduce themselves to your friends.

3. Choose Your Girl Early… and Ignore Her
Nothing annoys women like being ignored, and when they’re naked, it’s almost offensive. Don’t be rude – you don’t want to cross that line into actually offensive territory or you’re never getting close. Just keep aloof. Flirt with a different girl and maybe buy a lapdance. If your girl’s one of the ones you’ve become friendly with and she comes over, say hi, just seem preoccupied (there should be plenty to be distracting you on stage behind her). Basically, you’re not looking to insult your girl, just get her to pay attention to you and wonder why you aren’t into her.

4. Seek Her out
You’ll know when you’ve ignored her long enough. After you’ve caught her looking in your direction from across the club, it’s time to change tactic. Next time she’s on stage, walk right up with a 10-dollar bill. She’ll smile, and all the doubts you’d given her- whether you don’t like her, whether she’s doing something wrong – will be removed. When she realizes that you’re giving her a ten instead of a dollar or two, she’ll be curious about why.

5. Talk to Her
After that treatment, she is guaranteed to come sit down with you. From there, it’s all on you. This is the same as any conversation with a girl you like. She has gone from unattainable exotic dancer to woman sitting at your table and talking. So make sure you act like it. Ask her questions about herself. Get to know her. Ask her out. Most clubs won’t let the dancers go home with customers, but ask what her day off is. And then, you can hook up with a stripper.

It’s that easy. Now, get thee to the bank, acquire many one-dollar bills, don your tie and go get ‘em!

*This is a method learned from the unnamed master of the Secret Order of the Strip Club. It took many years to be inducted into the Order and learn its secrets. Unfortunately, some vows cannot be broken, and the highest secrets cannot be shared. However, this should put you on the right path. The rest is up to you.

Girls like flowers. We don’t know why this is, but it is a universal truth. Some guys don’t understand this, thinking that they’re too boring to be romantic. While creative, personalized gifts are always a good look, random flowers are an easy way to make any girl happy. So let’s go over some basic flower situations.

The Birthday Flowers

Whether it’s a long-term relationship or after two dates, when your girl’s birthday comes around flowers are not optional, they are mandatory. The rest of the present depends on the situation, but the flowers are pretty universal here. If you know her particular favorite flower, now is the time for that. If not, the rule of thumb here is a unique varied bouquet. You might want to look for some big, crazy tropical flowers that are fun and different.

The “I fucked up” Flowers

You slept with her sister? You got drunk and used her cat to wipe up your vomit? Yeah, you’re going to need to buy some flowers here. At the very least. Really, it’s a shallow and meaningless gesture, but it gives any apology a little extra weight behind it. We recommend breaking the bank on this one. Go over-the-top and obvious. Look for some rare roses.

The Random Flowers for the Girlfriend

In any long-term relationship, showing affection can get a little difficult. Bringing flowers home from work for your honey for no reason at all is a great way to put a smile on her face. Natural wildflowers, local selections and bouquets that would look great in your house are appropriate for this situation. These flowers are saying “you’re a great person, just all around.”

The Side Ho Flowers

That girl you’re doing on the side can get a little upset when you don’t take her out in public and spend money on your girlfriend, so an easy way to keep her happy is to send flowers to her work. That says “I’m thinking about you when I’m with my girlfriend, and here’s some flowers to show all your coworkers that you’ve sort of got a man.” Whenever you send a girl flowers at work, try to do it on a Monday. All too often, guys send flowers to the office on a Friday. Then the girl has to take them home, can only enjoy them for a day instead of a whole week of seeing them at her desk, and if she has plans already after work she has to drag them to happy with her.

The “I don’t know how to buy flowers” Flowers

99% of the time, guys who don’t buy flowers default with roses. While this is all well and good, you should avoid the typical ruby red flowers. They just look lazy. Dark red roses are very romantic and passionate. Other options include yellow roses (since these are traditionally for friendship, these are better for girlfriends than for flings), peach roses, or the best of all worlds with a collection of different-colored roses.

Our friend Max was kind enough to write us this post. Check out his blog tons o’ guns, it’s definitely in our Google Reader/our regular blog rotation.
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Plan A: Go to a women’s college
This worked wonders for me. Oh, you can’t? It’s okay, there’s a…

Plan B: Do everything Max tells you to.
Let’s begin.

Timing is everything
This is true of all things but especially girls, girls being something I am super good at. Lots of timing is hard to get right without experience, but the key is to listen to your environment and target for cues. Don’t betray your interest too early, but don’t be a stone wall. Be excellent, be independent, be a man. Also, get the practice that will become much easier for you after reading this wisdom.

Go for it
It’s on you, the bro, holder of the family jewels, keeper of the Y-chromosome, to go for the kiss. This makes you the sexual aggressor, conqueror, quite simply it makes you the man. Women these days are both liberated and desperate, and they will do a lot for you. There are only two things left that men MUST DO or face failure, the only two things that women will never take responsibility for.
1) Call at least one time.
2) Initiate the first kiss.
IT’S JUST THAT EASY!

Get close, stay close
It’s tough to go in for a kiss, we know. Get up close and personal – if she doesn’t like you all that much, she’ll withdraw and doesn’t want to be kissed yet anyway. Yet. If she snuggles up to you, she digs you.

Don’t mind the silly comment
In moments of tension, many people willfully ignore the obvious or simply choose to discuss something else. You may find the conversation going in outrageously irrelevant directions as the tension builds – this is fine. There’s nothing wrong with going in for the kiss to close a conversation about the weather (it’s weathery), jellyfish (they’re gelatinous), or her collection of vintage 70s porcelain dolls (incredibly frightening). If anything, it’s a good sign. Don’t get psyched out – the body language is just that. Listen when she speaks with her body, not necessarily with your mouth. (This skill will probably serve you well if you get married)

Pace yourself
Take it slow – revel in your victory. You’ve just sexualized the relationship and are comfortably outside the friend zone (unless she’s drunk and wants to use that as an excuse later… but that’s a problem for another column). In any case, this isn’t yet the time to aggressively fingerblast her. Now? No, still too soon. Maybe the woman you’re looking for is selling sex rather than giving it away.

Use your hands
There are all sorts of things to grab and fondle while you make out. It is, after all, makeout Mondays. Before you go for the T&A grabs (and you’ll get yours, don’t worry, all in due time, PACE YOURSELF!) there are all sorts of other targets for you. Hands in the hair, brushing against the neck, around the waist… really, are there any places that are off-limits? Besides the fingerbanging, for which you’ll need to wait at least five minutes. Rather than grabbing sexual organs, just start removing clothing. You’ll be amazed at what you can get away with in this situation. Some women think it’s being aggressive to wait for a guy to come strip their clothes off. You want to be that man, right? Be the man.

Don’t buy her too much shit until after you kiss her
Lest you become her favorite friend – the kind she exploits because he is needy and desperate. Actually, you can do this – it will give me someone else to have sex with with minimal expenditure on my part. That sound, the sound of your tears hitting your graphic-novel-based pillowcase? It’s the sound of your edukation.